Some Fun and Stimulating Dementia Activities

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Nursing Home Activities Resource

Dementia activities should focus on enjoyment rather than achievement. A caregiver would want these dementia activities to reduce boredom but not to over stimulate either.

Laughter is always the best medicine. Though the patient may not always understand your humor, they can appreciate a good tease, a little nonsense and some clowning around.

Movement is very important for many dementia patients, as they can become prone to sit for long periods in one place doing seated activities like board games and crosswords. Walks outside or mild exercises, either seated or standing, can help to get the blood moving again and ward off boredom and a sense of isolation if they've been without much group activity.

With Alzheimer's and dementia activities care should be taken to eliminate expected outcomes and focus primarily on the activity itself. Cognitive dysfunction makes remembering game rules, sequences and strategies very difficult, if not impossible in later stages of the diseases. Slower paced activities involving simple repetition can prove most effective. Sometimes it is just a fidgeting type of activity that can best keep these seniors occupied.

A mean and hurtful Alzheimers parent

Here is a great dementia resource for caregivers and healthcare professinals,

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Caring.com

Katemom

My mom was diagnosed with alzheimer's several years ago and begun on medication. She did ok and the progression was slow.About a year and a half ago, she had other health concerns and we had to stop all medications. Last spring, she asked me and my family to move in with her. We sold our house and moved 2 teenagers, 2 cats and me and my husband into her home. She was willing to allow us to change the bedrooms for the kids, and make the living room into our bedroom so she could keep her master bedroom. She said whatever it took, she was afraid to stay alone anymore. She has never admited to her diagnosis, and adamantly denies it. Now that we have sold a lot of our possessions and moved in, she is very possessive. She won't give up things that haven't been used in 50 years, but we have to get rid of a lot. After moving in, she changed her mind about changing things. The kids rooms couldn't be changed, painted, pictures or posters hung, etc, without major arguements. Now, the only thing I hear is how their rooms arent clean and why don't i do something about it. I am so tired. Their rooms are fine, they are a little cluttered, but are clean. She won't give us closet space for storage so we still have things sitting around in our bedroom, because there is nowhere to put it. We've learned to just walk around it, and its really not that bad. Yet she complains about our rooom, too. We now lock it every day. She was always a neat freak, and spent my childhood cleaning all the time. My father is the one that spent time with me. I was a single mom for a long time and had to do things differently and I put my children before housework. We want to paint my 15 year old's room a different color than white, and hang pictures, but she won't allow it. The house is in my name, and whenever we try to do something, she says I just want her house, and her money, and she'll just find somewhere else to live and get out of my way. She always starts arguments in the morning before I have to leave for work and she starts crying. Then she tells my husband about it, then my 20 year old son, about how mean I am. She makes us feel like it is definetly her house, and we are here to serve her. I feel guilty when I get upset with her, but I can't help it. We moved here instead of moving her to us because this is the family home and the house was larger than ours, and more easily adaptable. She tells me how wonderful my brother is because he's always outside working at his house. Of course, he's the one who wanted me here, and his kids are grown and gone. I guess I am just really frustrated and tired of being the bad guy. She can be so hurtful in what she says to me, and when she tells her friends about how mean I am. We cook and clean for her, do her laundry, fix her medicines, take her to her doctors appointments, and to her hair salon every week. All I do in my free time, is take her or my 15 year old somewhere. I also work full time. When I get home, I am tired. She wants me to be perfect, but I am not. I am just feeling so alone right now. She used to be fun to be around, and now she's hateful all the time. You have to watch what you say, or she takes it wrong. I don't know what I am asking from this, but I just need someone to say they understand, and maybe I am not the only one who's parent is so mean to them. I do care what people say about me, and it really bothers me that they think I moved here to get her stuff. We don't talk about the alzheimers, so most of her friends don't know the real story.

Do you have any thoughts go to caring.com hurtful Alzheimers parent

Guilt and the family caregiver

Sharon Brothers MSW

When my kids were little, they'd get sick and I'd start stressing. Should I take them to the doctor? Should I let the bug run its course?

Either option seemed to generate a bucket full of guilt. If I called in to the advice nurse the advice was - without fail - bring them in. I'd get to the doctor, and hear what sounded to my ears something like, "Don't worry so much. All kids get bugs from time to time. Don't be such an anxious mom." The doctor would give me the "lots-of-rest-and-plenty-of-fluids" advice, and I'd be home thinking about the time I'd wasted and the expense of taking a kid to the doctor - again - who didn't really need to go.

So the next time a kid got sick I'd say, "We're going to just let this bug run its course. We'll get plenty of rest and lots of fluids. I'm sure in a day or two she'll be fine."

A day or two later, the bug is no better so I finally take the child to the doctor. This time I hear, "Oh my god. Why on earth did you wait so long to bring the child in? She could have died!"

No matter which choice I made, I felt profound anxiety and guilt.

Caring for our aged parents seems to be much of the same: equal parts anxiety and guilt, no matter what we do.

As I read about Brooke Shields' response to reporters finding out about her mom's move into an assisted living community I thought about guilt.

It's easy to let guilt guide our decision-making. It's easy - but not wise. Just like my parenting guilt could have led me to take the kids to the doctor with each sniffle and sneeze, I learned to accept that either decision would most likely result in guilt. And then I made the decision that seemed, based on the facts as I knew then, to be the most appropriate.

With our aging parents we need to make decisions based on facts, too. We need to set feelings of guilt aside and ask ourselves - and our loved ones - what best meets their needs.

When my mom needed 4 people to help her to the bathroom, I had no option. I felt guilty about helping her into a nursing home, but I would have felt guiltier - and been a less responsible daughter - if I would have brought her to my home and then left her with no one to help while I attended to my own work and family needs.

While we're not parenting our parents, we are making choices and decisions, often without their input, on matters that affect nearly every aspect of their lives.

Try these questions to help you check whether you're making decisions based on fact - or on emotions like guilt:

Who can help? If your parent moves into a care community, someone will always be available to help. Often, more than one person will be available. Usually someone will be awake and ready to help even during the night. In a good care community, those helpers are trained and supervised by experienced caregivers. If you choose to leave your parent at home - yours or theirs - can they get the same level of attention and care?

What's my role? Often I hear from family caregivers that are exhausted from nighttime demands, or from caring for their own family, doing their own work, and then trying to do the tasks their loved one needs. Sit down and chat? Go through an old family photo album together? Who has time for that?! If your caregiving tasks demand all the energy you have available, who can provide the companionship and company to your loved one?

Is there joy? I'm a profound believer in finding joy in caregiving. Yes, a lot of the care we provide to loved ones - whether 2 or 102 - not a lot of fun, but is necessary. At the same time, we find ways when we're bathing the baby to laugh, make bubbles and sing together. What about when we're caring for an elderly loved one? Is there joy being shared? Laughter? Find a way to discover the joy in the relationship, or get help with the tasks so you can find new ways to a joyful relationship.

Caregiving, like parenting, will naturally have moments of guilt, anxiety and despair. But if we're caring because we're family, caregiving can also be filled with deep satisfaction and joy.

Are you a new dementia caregiver?

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Don't "Misunderestimate" People With Dementia

Caring.com
by Paula Spencer, Caring.com senior editor
One of the strange truisms about Alzheimer's and other dementias is that it tends to be easier to see what's not there rather than what is. After all, it's a disease of loss: memory loss, most noticeably, but also loss of the ability to reason, to drive, to recognize where you are, to manage finances, to go shopping without buying a tenth jar of unneeded mayonnaise.

Witnessing all this can lead family members and friends to underestimate the person with the disorder. I know I'm guilty of that. You see that they can't do this and they can't do that, and pretty soon you're neglecting to give them credit for much of anything. And while it's purely unintentional, it can be hurtful to both of you.

Caring.com Recommends a To-Do List What To Do When You First Learn a Loved One Has Alzheimer's
How to respond when a loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer's: 16 practical steps for managing care, in both early and late stages of Alzheimer's........Read the whole post

More dementia information is available here

And for activities for those with Alzheimer's disease and other dementias, click here

Dementia: mind games

The Independent

If physical exercise keeps the body young and healthy, does mental exercise do the same for the brain? Does a sudoku a day keep dementia away?
Dr Fred Kavalier answers your health question:

Physical exercise undoubtedly prolongs life and reduces the risk of many diseases, including heart disease, cancer and osteoporosis. There is even some evidence that regular physical exercise reduces the risk of developing dementia. But it is less clear that mental exercises will do the same for the brain. According to the Alzheimer's Society, certain activities are linked to a reduced risk of dementia. These include....read the whole article

Click here to see an award winning blog which has great activities that keep the mind of a dementia person, active.

Here is another great dementia activity blog